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Topic: My first Orchestral piece...

  1. #1

    My first Orchestral piece...

    Hi all, here is a link to my first orchestral piece;


    You really wont find any example of contrapuntal writing, voice leading, etc. [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

    I really would appreciate everyone\'s feedback however, particularly on the mix and placement of the instruments. I would also like honest opinions on the piece as a whole, is it ready to send to a potential employer?

    The piece is going to be a part of a showreel I am sending to a company.

    Regards, Scott.

  2. #2

    Re: My first Orchestral piece...

    Hi Scott,
    just a little harmonic suggestion for the beginning:
    G /
    G /
    chord: D7 with f sharp in Bass /
    chord: G7 with F in Bass
    C with e in Bass/
    C min with e flat in Bass/
    G With G in Bass
    Could be richer that way, so you got a chromatic bass.
    Also I would work again on the phrasing of the flute (more crecendi / decrescendi),
    There is a dissonance between the energic and the slow part. Maybe it\'s a bit too thin. I would add more mass here.
    Hope this helps [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

  3. #3

    Re: My first Orchestral piece...

    Markus and Sharmy,

    Very impressed,

    Do you listen to a piece and meanwhile say \"Oh here this C note should be changed for G\" ?


  4. #4

    Re: My first Orchestral piece...

    Do you listen to a piece and meanwhile say \"Oh here this C note should be changed for G\" ?
    <font size=\"2\" face=\"Verdana, Arial\">[img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img] No, I\'ve searched a bit to find another solution. Btw, my harmonic proposition resolves the problem Sharmy pointed out, too.

  5. #5

    Re: My first Orchestral piece...

    Hi Scott,

    A really nice piece. You got some excellent suggestions from Sharmy and Markus. Here\'s a couple of my own, I hope they help a tad (some are other ways of saying what has been said already.)

    1. As you write, try to look at it less \'pianistically\' (hard for me personally to do) - that is, each part is a seperate \'voice\'. Each part really should have a life of its own (this is the basis of good counterpoint). I haven\'t study this extensively in school, it is just picked up by ear and I have tried to imitate. I have found that my arrangements are more interesting and take on more depth as I approach it this way.

    2. Mix: Sounds good - the only thing I would do is \'tuck\' the percussion (especially the anvils and timps) \'back\' a tad. They sound like they are sitting a bit in the woodwind sections lap. Experiment with verb and perhaps roll off some of their highs (it\'s not so much volume).

    3. I think you did this well but maybe push it a bit more. Individual parts dymanics (as Sharmy suggests) need even more \'movement\'. Again, each voice should always be doing something - cres, decres, etc. Of course, somethings a pedal note sustain is appropiate but seems to be the exception rather than the norm. I guess I am saying - go for constant propulsion (tension / release).

    Hope this helps and sorry for saying some of the same things said previously. Good luck with your future employer!!! We look forward to hearing you got the gig.


  6. #6

    Re: My first Orchestral piece...

    Sorry Scott for my out of place question to Sharmy and Markus.

    If you accept comments from a simple listener then the following is my feeling:

    It\'s tight and not sloppy.

    The percussions itch my ears.

    In the first part ( 00:20-00:40) the timpani commonplace the emotional pattern. Perhaps it could be worked differently with pizzicato contrabass and also tuba. The expression of softness is good especially at 00:01-00:15.

    In the second part again the timpani, which is not enough violent, attenuates the feeling of \"you\'re better move from there because something is gonna happen\". The bells could be replaced with cymbals and gongs. The brass need more bite. The 01:04 to 01:11 section seems a little bit repetitive. Definitively with more anger in this part I would \"move from there because something is happen\".

    Well,It\'s only an opinion based on feeling rather than technical and I could be totally wrong.


  7. #7

    Re: My first Orchestral piece...

    Thank you everyone for your replies. I have next to no formal training so I am working through the advice given, digesting it slowly. [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

    Thank you to Serge also, advice based on how a piece makes you feel (or not) is just as valuable. I particularly like the suggestion of pizz bass.

    Any further feedback/criticisms is certainly welcomed.


  8. #8

    Re: My first Orchestral piece...

    Hi Scott,

    Amazing work for a \"first orchestral\". Great critques from others (embarrassed to say some of which I don\'t completely follow) and nice changes in tempo. Also some very nice melodies and harmonies.

    Big part of the unique character of the piece are the shorter than expected string bows - i.e. 00:11, 00:15, and 00:35. Can you try just smoothing and elongating those out? Not sure about this suggestion as again, it takes away some of the central uniqueness of the piece.

    Also at :49, wanted the horns more present.

    You know my beginner status...so not sure you actually want to spend time on experimenting with these changes.

    Looking forward to hearing the changes you make and how you approach incorporating some of the suggestions from the pros.

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