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Topic: Time for some laughs!

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  1. #1
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
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    Mar 2004
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    West Seneca, NY
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    11,075

    Talking Time for some laughs!

    You will enjoy these...


    1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The
    ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

    2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve
    you, but don't start anything."

    3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.

    4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

    5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and
    says: "A beer please, and one for the road.

    6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this
    taste funny to you?"

    7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That
    sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well .. "It's Not
    Unusual."

    8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.. Daisy says to
    Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe
    you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

    9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing
    to look at either.

    10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

    11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I
    couldn't find any.

    12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
    "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know
    you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

    13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel .

    14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

    15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and
    says "Dam!"

    16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
    the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't
    have your kayak and heat it too.

    17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were
    standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
    After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them
    to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he
    said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

    18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes
    to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family
    in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of
    himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her
    husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband
    responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

    19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time
    which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate
    very little which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he
    suffered from bad breath. This made him..(Oh, man, this is so bad,
    it's good).. a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

    20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns
    to his friends with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make
    them laugh. No pun in-ten-did.
    Styxx

  2. #2

    Re: Time for some laughs!

    Courtesy of Eric Idle:

    "What's brown and sounds like a bell?? Dung!"


  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Paris, France
    Posts
    349

    Re: Time for some laughs!

    But, Styxx, it's still only Jan 7th... what state will you be in by the time February kicks in??!

    (thanks for the nice laugh to start the day! )

  4. #4

    Re: Time for some laughs!

    HAHAHAHA STYXX, you're so punny!!!

    Farmers produce produce.

    -Chris

  5. #5

    Talking Re: Time for some laughs!

    Sincerely,
    Falcon1


    icelandphotoblog.com
    my cafepress store
    my fine art print store
    my music store

    Please support your fellow musician from Iceland where the currency has fallen 70% against USD and 90% against EURO! Every dollar or euro counts!


  6. #6
    Senior Member M.A.S>'s Avatar
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    Jul 2004
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    Somewhere under my hat.
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    202

    Re: Time for some laughs!

    Quote Originally Posted by vic_france
    But, Styxx, it's still only Jan 7th... what state will you be in by the time February kicks in??!

    I'm guessing probably still New York unless he has travel plans.

  7. #7

    Re: Time for some laughs!

    Quote Originally Posted by Styxx
    6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this
    taste funny to you?"
    I tried to read this out loud to my supervisor and for some reason just kept cracking up to the point of being unable to breathe. After an extended squawk, I got up off the floor and pulled myself up into my chair, wiped the tears from my eyes, and promptly started to laugh again. I'm still chuckling about it, and will probably continue to do so all day.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
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    Talking Re: Time for some laughs!

    Hahahahahahah! Hope you cleaned up the mess.
    Styxx

  9. #9
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    Re: Time for some laughs!




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