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Topic: Morning!

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  1. #1
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
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    Talking Morning!

    Getting up at 5 am EST is getting to be sooooooooooo hard particularly with the cold weather starting.
    Joke time -
    At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"

    The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."

    May not be the best but at being half awake it was all I could think of. Better one later!
    Styxx

  2. #2

    Re: Morning!

    I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use a little more calmness in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on the Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started and never finished."

    So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some saltines and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freaking good I feel.

    Karl

  3. #3
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
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    Re: Morning!

    Funny Quotes

    "Smoking kills, and if you''re killed, you''ve lost a very important part of your life.!
    -Anti-smoking spokesperson Brooke Shields

    "The police are not here to create disorder, they''re here to preserve disorder!
    -Former Chicago mayor Daley during the infamous 1968 convention

    "If you''ve seen one Redwood tree, you''ve seen them all!
    -Forestry expert Ronald Reagan

    "Traditionally, most of Australia''s imports come from overseas"
    -Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery

    "The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it''s only the people that make them unsafe"
    -Former Philadelphia Mayor and Police Chief Frank Rizzo
    Styxx

  4. #4

    Re: Morning!

    Quote Originally Posted by Karl Garrett
    I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some saltines and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freaking good I feel.

    Karl
    ROFLOL...Karl, that's WAY too much!
    ;-0

    Jim Jarnagin - no not THAT Jim Jarnagin, the other one.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
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    Mar 2004
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    Re: Morning!

    "The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep."
    -Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live

    "We''re going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
    -Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks

    "I''m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.!
    -Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents

    "When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.!
    -Former U.S. President Calvin Coolidge

    "It''s like deja vu all over again.!
    -Yogi Berra

    "China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese"
    -Former French President Charles De Gaulle

    "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I''m just the one to do it.!
    -A congressional candidate in Texas
    Styxx

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