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Topic: Bad Friday Joke

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  1. #1

    Bad Friday Joke

    What's the difference between a plumbing delivery man and the captain of the Exxon Valdez?

    The delivery man calls to tell you, "the sink is shipping".



    -JF

  2. #2

  3. #3

    Jim Jarnagin - no not THAT Jim Jarnagin, the other one.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
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    Mar 2004
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    Re: Bad Friday Joke

    Dares go first!
    Styxx

  5. #5

    Talking Re: Bad Friday Joke

    The Guys' Rules
    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story.
    We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note...
    these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing,"we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine ... Really.

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

    1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

    Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
    Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh

  6. #6

    Re: Bad Friday Joke

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

    should be:
    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as instrumentation techniques, new VST products, midi studio problems or composer forum threads.
    http://hopkins.composerarts.com

  7. #7

    Re: Bad Friday Joke

    Quote Originally Posted by Ray Lindsley
    The Guys' Rules
    I like #1 the best!
    Steve Barden
    www.SteveBarden.com
    "So....it's a profit deal!" - Navin R. Johnson

  8. #8

    Re: Bad Friday Joke

    THE BEST IRISH JOKE - BY FAR..........

    John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me
    life, between the legs of me wife!

    That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

    He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast
    of the night." She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

    John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church
    beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

    The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street
    corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the
    other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

    She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised meself. You know,
    he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the
    other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."
    Steve Barden
    www.SteveBarden.com
    "So....it's a profit deal!" - Navin R. Johnson

  9. #9

    Re: Bad Friday Joke

    Quote Originally Posted by bmpsound
    THE BEST IRISH JOKE - BY FAR..........
    LMAO...of my gawd! That is good.
    ;-)

    Jim Jarnagin - no not THAT Jim Jarnagin, the other one.

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