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Topic: Snorlax in the cave

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  1. #1

    Snorlax in the cave

    Hi, all...

    The 'Lax is back after some time in the caves of southern Indiana.

    I'd post some photos, but they'd be kinda dark--I was off the beaten path.

    Just to let you know how my mindset has changed since acquiring GPO, let me give you the old and new cave quotes:

    Last year: "The calm and peace created by the silence and the darkness of the cave lead me to reflect upon the meaning of life, appreciate the senses that are dysfunctional in the darkness and silence, and come to a deeper resolution to use my gifts to teach and entertain."

    Last Monday: "Gee, I wonder if we could get an impulse of this cave for SIR?"

    Diggin' the daylight again...

    Jim
    Jim Williams
    Professor of Capitalism
    N9EJR
    Indianapolis Brass Choir
    All Your Bass Sus&Short Are Belong to Us.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
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    Talking Re: Snorlax in the cave

    Jim, you didn't run into that attack rabbit or get a glimps at the writing on the wall? Where to next, the Knights that say Ni!

    Nice to see your back ... Now turn around so everyone can see ya face!

    TIM: There he is!
    ARTHUR: Where?
    TIM: There!
    ARTHUR: What, behind the rabbit?
    TIM: It is the rabbit!
    ARTHUR: You silly sod! You got us all worked up!
    TIM: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit. That's the most foul,
    cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on.
    ROBIN: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!
    TIM: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide, it's
    a killer!
    ???: Get stuffed!
    TIM: It'll do you a trick, mate!
    ???: Oh, yeah?
    ROBIN: You manky Scot's git!
    TIM: I'm warning you!
    ROBIN: What's he do, nibble your bum?
    TIM: He's got huge, sharp-- he can leap about-- look at the
    bones!
    ARTHUR: Go on, Bors. Chop his head off!
    BORS: Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin'
    right up!
    TIM: Look!
    [squeak]
    BORS: Aaaugh!
    [chord]
    ARTHUR: Jesus Christ!
    TIM: I warned you!
    ROBIN: I did it again!
    TIM: I warned you! But did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew
    it all, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't
    it? Well, it's always the same, I always--
    ARTHUR: Oh, shut up!
    TIM: --But do they listen to me?--
    ARTHUR: Right!
    TIM: -Oh, no--
    KNIGHTS: Charge!
    [squeak squeak]
    KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh! Aaaugh! etc.
    KNIGHTS: Run away! Run away!
    TIM: Haw haw haw. Haw haw haw. Haw haw.
    ARTHUR: Right. How many did we lose?
    ???: Gawain.
    ???: Hector.
    ARTHUR: And Boris. That's five.
    Styxx

  3. #3
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
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    Re: Snorlax in the cave

    couldn't resist!

    KEEPER: Heh heh. Stop! What is your name?
    ARTHUR: It is Arthur, King of the Britons.
    KEEPER: What is your quest?
    ARTHUR: To seek the Holy Grail.
    KEEPER: What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
    ARTHUR: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
    KEEPER: What? I...I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
    BEDEVERE: How do know so much about swallows?
    ARTHUR: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king
    you know.
    Styxx

  4. #4

    Re: Snorlax in the cave

    ....

    GALAHAD:
    Three, sir.
    ARTHUR:
    Three. Three. And we'd better not risk another frontal assault. That rabbit's dynamite.
    ROBIN:
    Would it help to confuse it if we run away more?
    ARTHUR:
    Oh, shut up and go and change your armour.
    GALAHAD:
    Let us taunt it! It may become so cross that it will make a mistake.
    ARTHUR:
    Like what?
    GALAHAD:
    Well... ooh.
    LAUNCELOT:
    Have we got bows?
    ARTHUR:
    No.
    LAUNCELOT:
    We have the Holy Hand Grenade.
    ARTHUR:
    Yes, of course! The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch! 'Tis one of the sacred relics Brother Maynard carries with him. Brother Maynard! Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade!
    MONKS: [chanting]
    Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem.

    Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem. Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem. Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem.
    ARTHUR:
    How does it, um-- how does it work?
    LAUNCELOT:
    I know not, my liege.
    ARTHUR:
    Consult the Book of Armaments!
    BROTHER MAYNARD:
    Armaments, chapter two, verses nine to twenty-one.
    SECOND BROTHER:
    And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.'

    And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--
    MAYNARD:
    Skip a bit, Brother.
    SECOND BROTHER:
    And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'
    MAYNARD:
    Amen.
    KNIGHTS:
    Amen.
    ARTHUR:
    Right!

    One!... Two!... Five!
    GALAHAD:
    Three, sir!
    ARTHUR:
    Three!
    [angels sing]
    [boom]

    Couldn't resist meself

  5. #5
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
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    Re: Snorlax in the cave

    Hahahahahaha! Good to have the professor back again!
    Styxx

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