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Topic: Top 20 Phone Tech Support No-No's

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  1. #1
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
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    Talking Top 20 Phone Tech Support No-No's

    20. Try to sell homemade LSD to caller.
    19. "Still not used to this whole electricity thing, huh?
    18. Proclaim your undying love.
    17. Advise the customer to lick the power supply.
    16. "So, what are you wearing?"
    15. Constantly refer to caller as "Pumpkin."
    14. As you look up a part number, whistle loudly in a monotone.
    13. "You've got to be kidding."
    12. "What you do is get yourself 50p and go and buy a clue.
    11. Use baby talk.
    10. "I don't get paid enough to deal with jerks like you."
    9. Ridicule the inadequacy of the caller's system.
    8. "Yo no hablo ingles."
    7. Use metaphors based on your experiences with rabid dogs.
    6. Laugh maniacally.
    5. Twist the callers words to make it seem as if there is no problem.
    4. "You're screwed. You're just screwed."
    3. Encourage the caller to pound on the CPU casing.
    2. Try to set up caller with your second cousin.
    1. "How the hell did you get access to a computer?"


    Top 10 Things Not To Say In An Interview…

    10. When's my first raise?
    9. Salary is my biggest motivator!
    8. Is it okay for me to get every Friday and Saturday off?
    7. Are managers allowed to drink with employees after closing?
    6. Do you mind passing me the ashtray?
    5. I'm looking for a 40-hour workweek.
    4. Can I take my drug test after 30 days of employment?
    3. I plan on opening my first restaurant in a year!
    2. Can managers date the staff?
    And The Number One Thing Not To Say In An Interview:

    1. Excuse me, but I've been expecting this call on my cell phone.
    Styxx

  2. #2
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    Re: Top 20 Phone Tech Support No-No's

    Styxx,

    We're placing you in charge of tech support!

  3. #3

    Re: Top 20 Phone Tech Support No-No's

    One more for the job interview:

    "Does the photocopier do legal size? I have a really big butt."
    - Jamie Kowalski

    All Hands Music - Kowalski on the web
    The Ear Is Always Correct - Writings on composition

  4. #4
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
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    Re: Top 20 Phone Tech Support No-No's

    Quote Originally Posted by Garritan
    Styxx,

    We're placing you in charge of tech support!
    Let me at 'em let me at 'em!
    I'll be right there boss!
    Styxx

  5. #5

    Re: Top 20 Phone Tech Support No-No's

    "Does the photocopier do legal size? I have a really big butt."
    Ahhhhh
    Aaron Clark, C/C++, J2EE, Flash, Perl and PHP programming.
    Logic Pro 7.0.1, G5 1800x2, 3 Gig ram, GPO and GOS lite.
    My site: http://www.clarkaudio.com
    Where I work now: http://www.blinex.com/

  6. #6
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    Oct 2000
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    Re: Top 20 Phone Tech Support No-No's

    A caller for Tech Support couldn't get GPO legato to work. After asking some basic questions we explained the foot pedal controlled legato. We asked what happened and his response was "I pushed and pushed on the foot pedal and nothing happens."

    The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.

  7. #7

    Re: Top 20 Phone Tech Support No-No's

    Oh dear. That's alomost as sad as the cup holder one, which I always felt wasn't really true.

    Karl

  8. #8

    Re: Top 20 Phone Tech Support No-No's

    Hillarious! I think I kind of want to do tech support now . . .
    Sean Patrick Hannifin
    My MP3s | My Melody Generator | my album
    "serious music" ... as if the rest of us are just kidding

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