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Topic: OhYeah? Well get used to it. Thoisday marning joke!

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  1. #1
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
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    Talking OhYeah? Well get used to it. Thoisday marning joke!

    The Gorgeous Red Head
    A man is dining in a fancy restaurant, and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.

    Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

    "Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy you dessert to make it up to you."

    They enjoy a wonderful dessert together, and afterwards, the woman invites him to the theater followed by drinks. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place and stay for breakfast the next morning.

    The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed! Everything has been incredible! "You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

    "No," she replies, "you just happened to catch my eye."
    Styxx

  2. #2

    Re: OhYeah? Well get used to it. Thoisday marning joke!

    Groan!!

    Rob

  3. #3

    Re: OhYeah? Well get used to it. Thoisday marning joke!

    Another true story...

    At an auction in Glasgow a wealthy American announced that he had lost his wallet containing £10,000 and would give a reward of £100 to the person who found it.
    From the back of the hall a Scottish voice shouted, "I'll give £150!"

  4. #4
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
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    Re: OhYeah? Well get used to it. Thoisday marning joke!

    With the current rate of exchange that's amounts to just about nothing!
    Styxx

  5. #5

    Re: OhYeah? Well get used to it. Thoisday marning joke!

    BAR BET

    Guy walks into an empty bar on Wednesday night and tells the bartender that he never loses a bet. Bartender says, 'yeah, right". Guy bets ten bucks that he can bite his left eye. Bartender accepts. Guy pulls a glass eye out of his left socket and bites it. He replaces the eye, takes the ten bucks and leaves.

    Same guy comes into the bar on Thursday night. Bets the bartender another ten bucks that he can bite his right eye. Bartender holds up three fingers. The guy counts them. Bartender places the bet. Guy pulls out his false teeth, bites his right eye, takes the ten bucks and leaves.

    It's Friday night and the bar is hoppin'. Same guy walks up to the bartender and bets him twenty bucks that he can stand on one end of the bar and piss into a shotglass on the other end of the bar, fill it to the rim and not spill a drop. Bartender says, "I know I'll lose my twenty bucks, but this I gotta see". Bartender puts a shotglass on the far end of the bar. Guy climbs up, unzips his trousers and pisses a bladder-full all over the bar.

    Bartender cheers, takes the $20, and wipes up the mess. Then he stops and says, "I thought you never lose a bet".

    Guy says, "see that sad guy over by the jukebox? I bet him two-hundred bucks that I could piss all over your bar, and you'd clean it up with a smile."



    -JF

  6. #6

    Re: OhYeah? Well get used to it. Thoisday marning joke!

    GREAT JOKES!!!!

    I love them!

    That redhead one was something my grandpa would say. He's always saying stuff that just makes you:
    Like the fact that farmers produce produce.

    -Chris

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