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Topic: Ahhh Top of 'Ol Tharsday Marnin ta ya's all! Tis joke time.

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  1. #1
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
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    Talking Ahhh Top of 'Ol Tharsday Marnin ta ya's all! Tis joke time.

    A man and a woman, who have never before met, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two are tired and fall asleep early and quickly...he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

    At:1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman below him saying,
    "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.

    "I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for tonight,let's pretend that we're married."

    "Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaims, getting all excited, "I like it!"

    "I'm glad," she replies. "Now get your own f**ing blanket."


    How do you know when the stage is level?
    The drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth..

    How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trombonist's car?
    Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof.

    What's a tuba for?
    1-1/2" by 3-1/2".
    Styxx

  2. #2

    Re: Ahhh Top of 'Ol Tharsday Marnin ta ya's all! Tis joke time.

    Five Englishmen boarded a train just behind five Scots, who, as a group had only purchased one ticket. Just before the conductor came through, all the Scots piled into the toilet stall at the back of the car. As the conductor passed the stall, he knocked and called"Tickets, please!" and one of the Scots slid a ticket under the door. It was punched, pushed back under the door, and when it was safe all the Scots came out and took their seats. The Englishmen were tremendously impressed by the Scots' ingenuity. On the trip back, the five Englishmen decided to try this themselves and purchased only one ticket. They noticed that, oddly, the Scots had not purchased any tickets this time. Anyway, again, just before the conductor came through, the Scots piled into one of the toilet stalls, the Englishmen into the other. Then one of the Scots leaned out, knocked on the Englishmen's stall and called "Ticket, Please!" When the ticket slid out under the door, he picked it up and quickly closed the door

    True...

  3. #3
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
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    Talking Re: Ahhh Top of 'Ol Tharsday Marnin ta ya's all! Tis joke time.

    Ha!
    Styxx

  4. #4

    Re: Ahhh Top of 'Ol Tharsday Marnin ta ya's all! Tis joke time.

    LOL....five good jokes in one day.
    ;-)

    Jim Jarnagin - no not THAT Jim Jarnagin, the other one.

  5. #5

    Re: Ahhh Top of 'Ol Tharsday Marnin ta ya's all! Tis joke time.

    This guy wakes up with a hangover, a gash on his forehead, a rose next to his bed and a note saying "come downstairs, I've fixed your favorite breakfast". The guy has no memory of the night before, walks downstairs and asks his son what the hell happened.

    The son says, "you came home drunk, tripped, broke the coffee table with your head and passed out. Mom and I carried you to bed. When she tried to take your pants off, you said, 'get away from me, lady. I'm married.'"

    New cofee table: $39.99
    Single stem rose: $3.99
    Two aspirin: $0.29
    Saying the right thing at the right time: priceless.



    -JF

  6. #6

    Re: Ahhh Top of 'Ol Tharsday Marnin ta ya's all! Tis joke time.

    I don't get the trombone one.

  7. #7

    Re: Ahhh Top of 'Ol Tharsday Marnin ta ya's all! Tis joke time.

    The tuba one?

    "Tuba for" = Two by four
    I remain solely responsible for the content of my messages, and agree to indemnify and hold harmless northern sound source, and their agents with respect to any claim based upon transmission of my message(s). Rock on.

  8. #8

    Re: Ahhh Top of 'Ol Tharsday Marnin ta ya's all! Tis joke time.

    OK, stop me if you've heard this one ...

    It's around 2 in the afternoon and officer O'Brien comes round to the Murphey residence.

    The officer knocks and the lady of the house answers.

    "Good day to you officer".

    "Good day to you Mrs Murphy, but I'm afraid I have some bad news".

    "What is it?", she asks.

    "Well, there's been an accident down at the Guinness brewery and I'm afraid your husband has been killed".

    "Oh dear, oh dear", the distraught Mrs Murphy cries "What happened?"

    "Well, seems he was checking out a fresh batch in one of the big vats and fell in".

    "Ohhh no", she wails, "but at least tell me. Did he go quickly?"

    "Ahhh no", says Officer O'Brien, "Seems he got out three times to pee".
    - Layne

  9. #9

    Wink Re: Ahhh Top of 'Ol Tharsday Marnin ta ya's all! Tis joke time.

    Quote Originally Posted by cptexas
    I don't get the trombone one.
    Kinda goes with:

    Q: What's the definition of an optimist?
    A: A trombonist with a beeper. [OK, maybe that's a bit dated now...]

    Q: What's the difference between a trombonist and a large pizza?
    A: The pizza can feed a family of four.

    And just for "fair and balanced" ribbing:

    Q: What's the difference between a chain saw and a bari sax?
    A: Vibrato.



    Grant
    ==============================
    Grant Green ||| www.contrabass.com
    Sarrusophones and other seismic devices

  10. #10

    Re: Ahhh Top of 'Ol Tharsday Marnin ta ya's all! Tis joke time.

    Quote Originally Posted by GDG
    Kinda goes with:

    Q: What's the definition of an optimist?
    A: A trombonist with a beeper. [OK, maybe that's a bit dated now...]

    Q: What's the difference between a trombonist and a large pizza?
    A: The pizza can feed a family of four.

    And just for "fair and balanced" ribbing:

    Q: What's the difference between a chain saw and a bari sax?
    A: Vibrato.



    Grant
    The only one I got outta that one was the bari sax one.

    Maybe I'm illiderate to trombone jokes?

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