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Topic: Unstuff your shirt for a moment!

  1. #1
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    West Seneca, NY

    Talking Unstuff your shirt for a moment!

    Things To Do In An Elevator

    1 When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
    2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
    3) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
    4) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
    5) Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
    6) Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
    7) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
    8) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
    9) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
    10) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
    11) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
    12) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
    13) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
    14) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
    15) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

    knock knock
    who's there
    oddley hee
    oddley hee who
    I didn't know you could yodel! )

    A father and his 6-year-old son walk into a bank. When they get in line the son notices the very large woman in front of them. The son tugs at the dad’s jacket and says, "Daddy, look! That lady is huge!" the father replies "yes son she's as big as a truck". About a minute later the large woman’s beeper goes off and the kid pushes his father out of the way and yells, "Look out dad!!! It’s backing up!"

    I forgot where I heard this limerick before. Eh, hammyway -

    Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps,
    Bug-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants!
    I'm about to tell you a story I've never heard before,
    So pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
    Admission is free, so pay at the door.

    One fine day, in the middle of the night,
    two, dead boys got up to fight.
    Back to back, they faced each other,
    drew their swords and shot each other.
    A deaf policeman heard the noise,
    and saved the lives of the two dead boys.
    If you don't believe my lies are true,
    ask the blind man, he saw it too!

  2. #2

    Re: Unstuff your shirt for a moment!

    How do you find this stuff? Or is the voices in your head?

  3. #3
    Senior Member Styxx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    West Seneca, NY

    Re: Unstuff your shirt for a moment!

    A little of both. It's amazing what you find under your pillow sometimes!

    Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship. He sends a signal: “Change your course 10 degree east.”
    The light signals back: “Change yours, 10 degrees west.”
    Angry, the captain sends: “I’m a navy captain! Change your course, sir!”
    “I’m a seaman, second class,” comes the reply. “Change your course, sir.”
    Now the captain is furious. “I’m a battleship! I’m not changing course!”
    There is one last reply. “I’m a lighthouse. Your call.”


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