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Topic: Advice?

  1. #1


    Any advice on how to cope with breakage of a relationship? Bleah...

  2. #2

    Re: Advice?

    compose.... at least that\'s what worked for me, came up with the best stuff ever! all minor keys(of course!) still brings a tear to eyes to this day, even though my life has moved on. deep stuff! at least something good came from it.

    or, you could go trash a hotel room like in pink floyd the wall.... (better then your studio!)just don\'t blame me if you get in trouble

  3. #3
    Senior Member Bruce A. Richardson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 1999
    Dallas, Texas

    Re: Advice?

    Oh man,

    Let go. Be happy for anything she taught you. If she broke up with you, dont\' be pathetic. If you broke up with her, don\'t give any false hopes in a moment of weakness.

    Unless she shows up with a gun in a psychotic rage. In that case, be very pathetic, beg for your life, and tell her you were very very wrong. Then call 911.

    Use the excess emotion to write music or songs.

    Bonking her best friend can be thereputic.

    Be thankful you are 17 and not 40-something with kids around your age.

    Have faith that you\'re a person with a lot to offer, and that you will love again.

    That\'s all I\'ve got. Sorry about your heartache. We\'ve all been there. It will pass.


  4. #4

    Re: Advice?

    Hahaha! That\'s some of the coolest advice I\'ve gotten. [img]images/icons/wink.gif[/img] Happy New Years.

  5. #5

    Re: Advice?

    \"Be thankful you are 17..\"

    17 ???

    jeesh, too young for anything serious. Get as smart as you can, go to college and make as much money as you can, THEN get into a serious relationship. I have kids your age and I\'m raising them with the almighty dollar squarely in mind. Let the flames begin!! [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

  6. #6

    Re: Advice?

    You know Bruce pretty much covers it in his post [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

    To add a few things though from my personal experience:

    Girls are demanding. If they want something and you give it to them, they\'ll want more. It\'s a vicious circle. \"TIME\" is what I\'m indicating here [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

    No matter who you are there\'ll always be a girl for you out there, the world is literally FULL of girls, and they aren\'t hard to get [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

    You\'ll most likely miss the time you spent with her, but that\'s mostly because it became a habit for you and now you\'re going cold turkey... It\'ll pass very soon. I like to play the piano when I\'m sad. Just sit and play for hours. Not necessarily sad music but beautiful harmonies that remind me of my passion for music. You need to hang out with your friends and get your mind on other stuff. Some people get very creative when they are depressed. Others are very creative when they\'re happy or in love or whatever. It varies greatly.

    They say you can be thankful that you\'re only 18 and not 40, but they fail to realize that the first breakup always feels much harder than the 2nd, 3rd, 4th etc. It\'s a very special feeling that you haven\'t really experienced before. \"She doesn\'t want me? why? Someone is letting go of me. Why?\" - It\'ll always hurt of course. And you start blaming yourself. DON\'T BLAME YOURSELF! You did your best, and if you didn\'t then there\'s always time to convince her that you really want to be with her. Just give her a bunch of roses and sort things out.

    Being in a relationship doesn\'t take much practice. It\'s more or less an ability you\'re born with. Thus I really believe that you should be concentrating on your education instead of girls (I know they\'ll always be in the way, clouding your vision [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img] ) - I broke up with my ex to make time for my music education and I found someone else a few weeks after the breakup. Then I broke up with her and found back to my ex again, this time I told her I can\'t devote much time to her because of all the work I do, and she totally understands. In other words we\'re back to my opening line. Don\'t give them too much, you\'ll spoil them. Whether it\'s time, love or diamonds, same rule applies.

    Anyway, don\'t spoil the opportunity to potentially create some great music [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img] In the end what is more satisfying than a complete piece of music with your name on it? Something you can be proud of. Something you can look back at and listen to. The piece will be a footprint in your life and reflect your feelings just as well as any words would have. Actually, write a beautiful composition and tell her you wrote it for her and give her some roses. No girl would be able to resist that [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

    Life goes on regardsless of what you do. Don\'t waste time sulking and sobbing, open the window and breathe the air of freedom - and love THAT instead [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]


  7. #7

    Re: Advice?

    Hi Aaron,

    Bruce covered the basics. Guys get depressed by breakups when they\'re young because they think they can\'t find another girl that\'s so special. At some point you\'ll realize they\'re all special and want to enjoy them all.

    Thomas covered most of the other basics. Females will demand as much as you\'re willing to give them and then a bit more. They will also respect men who set boundaries, so get in the habit of saying no from time to time.

    I do want to take issue with Thomas\'s assertion that being in a relationship doesn\'t take practice. I\'ve been married 14 years and I can assure you it takes work to keep a relationship going.

    I agree with the others use the time well to make music. You don\'t know when you\'ll meet another who\'ll want to make you practice setting boundaries (by demanding time).

    Keep your chin up, it only gets better.

    Steve Chandler

  8. #8

    Re: Advice?


    Think of the bright side. Now you have more time for music [smile].

    It takes a few bad times in life to really appreciate the good times. Someone with your talent and work ethic will have no trouble finding a life partner. However, there is no need to do so at 17. Enjoy meeting new people. You can learn from everyone.

    -- Martin

  9. #9

    Re: Advice?

    There\'s always streaking! [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/shocked.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/wink.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/confused.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/shocked.gif[/img]

  10. #10

    Re: Advice?

    You can also use a combination of man-to-hand-relationship, compose, eat and sleep. This may sound banale, but it will work for most men. That being said its important to learn. I have really been \"forced\" to relook at the way I compose. The problem with composing is its a silent and very non-communicative proces. Our girls dont understand that and they never will. This is OUR problem, not theirs. Having a girlfriend is actually the same as composing. Its all about choosing the write words (chords/themes), the timing of the notes AND have a little good\'ol\'sense of rhythm. I am sure you know what I mean. Anyway. I had some nasty arguments with my lady, but we came up with a very good solution. Learn to compose and learn NOT to compose. I have really learned to see composing as work similar to working at a chocolate factory. Sometimes - I just stop the machine and enjoy life. No composing could ever feel better then , good food, kissing, being horny etc.

    Love - Chris

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